


We're All Mad Here

by Justgot1



Category: Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: A cat reminiscent of Sherlock, A rabbit very similar to Mycroft, And various over-the-counter medications being used in unorthodox ways., Gen, Johnlock Roulette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-10 21:24:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1164689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justgot1/pseuds/Justgot1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was written for the Winterlock Exchange 2014 for the talented <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/cypress_tree/pseuds/cypress_tree">cypress_tree</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're All Mad Here

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cypress_tree](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cypress_tree/gifts).



“One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small,” said the cat, appearing smile-first over the nightstand.

John snorted.  “No, it doesn’t.  Anyway, that’s Jefferson Airplane.”

The cat’s lithe, black body faded in beneath him, the air coagulating into a solid.  Last to appear above his fanged grin were a pair of jade, almond-shaped eyes. “Nevertheless,” he purred, licking a paw.

John picked up the bottle and rattled the little orange gel caps inside.  They did seem to glow in a slightly disturbing way.  “The label says they’re stool softeners,” he said.  “My stool is just fine, thank you.”

“ _Labels,_ ” the cat scoffed.

“He’s right, you know.”  A preoccupied-looking rabbit in a paisley waistcoat holding a small black umbrella offered this up from the end of the single bed, ears alert, and glancing around.  “It’s an off-label usage.”

“Why would I want to be either larger or smaller?”

The cat sighed and glanced up and to the right briefly, as if asking for patience from the heavens.  “It’s a  _metaphor_ , idiot.”

John put the bottle down and picked up the next, larger one which contained long, golden capsules that stuck together slightly.  He shook them apart.  “And these?”  John read the label – fish oil, 100mg.

“Flight.  Obviously,” drawled the cat.

“Can also induce synesthesia,” put in the rabbit, looking distractedly out the bedsit window.  “If you’re prone to that sort of thing.”

John put those down thoughtfully.  The next was a bubble pack containing little blue oblong pills in pairs.  The box said Nighttime Sleep Aid.  He picked it up and waved it expectantly at the cat.

“Opens the third eye,” the cat responded, bored.

“Of course it does.”

The last was a prescription bottle of dull, plastic capsules.  “Clarithromycin,” he read.

The rabbit was staring at the door.  “Oh,” he said indifferently.  “That’s just an antibiotic.”

“Yes, I do know,” John replied tartly.  “I suspect that will prove to be the most useful one, where I’m going.”  He struggled briefly with the childproof cap, then downed one of the boring, practical little pills.

“Oh!  Are we going, then?”  The rabbit perked up.  He tugged down his waistcoat and checked his pocketwatch.  “Good, because I’m running late.”

Into his cupped palm, John shook out one bright orange pill, and one golden pill, then popped out a pair of the blue ones from the bubble pack.  “Of course I’m going, you think I’m going to stay  _here_?”  He paused to build up a little spit in his mouth and cupped it in his tongue.  Then he tossed back the handful and swallowed them all down.

 “Let’s go, then,” said the cat, his body melting back into nothingness until only his smile was left, hovering over the tissue box.  “I’ll meet you there.”

 John climbed out of his increasingly too-small bed, opened his third eye, and flew.


End file.
